In a world where dietary beliefs define our meals and health is our greatest wealth, there’s a silent but profound phenomenon we must discuss – the patriarchal grip on what we eat. Through Maria’s inspiring journey, we’ll delve into the uncharted territories of gendered dietary habits and the way they shape not only our plates but our lives and our future.
Meet Maria, a dedicated mother and loving wife, who aspired to introduce a healthier diet to her family. Little did she know that she was about to embark on a journey that would not only transform her family’s health but also challenge deeply ingrained patriarchal norms in her marriage.
Maria’s husband, Giannis, held the keys to the kitchen kingdom, not because he was the one cooking, but because he demanded a diet heavy on meat. “I need my protein,” he’d say, a common refrain among many men who believe that meat equals masculinity (and that protein can be found only in meat). Giannis felt that a meal was incomplete without a substantial portion of meat, which left Maria and their two kids with little room for healthier alternatives. She either needed to cook two different meals every day, or settle with eating what Giannis wanted, an animal-based meal almost every single day.
This scenario is far from unique. It’s a manifestation of the patriarchal phenomenon we see all too often. Many women, like Maria, find themselves stuck not only in the patriarchal dogma that cooking is a female job but also in a dietary dilemma. Their partners, often influenced by societal norms equating meat with strength, resist healthier eating. These women have to choose between cooking two separate meals every day and settling for unhealthy meals that they would not choose. The result is a household divided, not just in terms of unpaid care labor, but also in terms of health. To make things worse, children are forced to follow the father’s diet, too, putting in danger not only their current health and development but also their future, as the dietary habits built in childhood are much more difficult to change in adult life. And I know that first hand, as I myself was a child raised in such a family, where my father determined that we ate a heavily animal-based diet. By the time I was old enough to understand that my childhood dietary habits were unhealthy, I already had developed many diet-related health issues, that took a lot of time and effort to be reversed.
This patriarchal dietary dictatorship is deeply rooted in societies with strong patriarchal family hierarchies; Greek being one of them. It’s a not-so-well-researched Social Determinant Of Health (SDOH) that deserves our attention. This phenomenon goes beyond just food; it affects the health, well-being, and autonomy of women and children.
We must acknowledge that the connection between meat and manhood is a product of toxic masculinity, perpetuated by societal norms. Carol J. Adams, in her book ‘The Sexual Politics of Meat‘ brilliantly dissects how the consumption of meat has been interwoven with gender constructs. Men have been conditioned to believe that their virility and strength are directly linked to their meat consumption. This association not only endangers men’s health but also imposes an unfair burden on women who aspire to prioritize healthier, plant-based alternatives, and their children.
Maria’s journey is a testament to the resilience and determination of women who are awakened to see and face this patriarchal dietary dilemma. She decided to take control of her family’s health and challenge the norm. With compassion for herself and her husband, and with me at her side to provide all the scientific arguments and support she needed, she embarked on a mission to change their lifestyle. Maria began by having open conversations with Giannis about the patriarchal dynamics of their meals and about the health benefits of incorporating more plant-based options into their meals.
It wasn’t easy, but Maria’s persistence paid off. Giannis began to realize that his health and the health of their children were too important to be overshadowed by outdated notions of masculinity. He started joining our sessions and slowly, but surely, he started to embrace legumes and plant-based proteins as part of their diet, which covers all human protein needs without having the harmful effects of meat. Together, they discovered the delicious world of nutritious, meatless meals.
As the family transitioned to a healthier diet, Maria noticed a transformation not only in their physical health but in their family dynamics. Giannis began to appreciate the diverse, satisfying, and nutritious options that didn’t rely on meat. The children, following their parents’ positive changes, and supported by the tools of family coaching, that uses their imagination and playfulness to help children adopt new recipes, joined the journey towards a more balanced diet.
Maria’s story is a beacon of hope for women and families struggling with the patriarchal dietary dilemma. It’s a reminder that change is possible, even in the face of deeply ingrained norms. Her journey highlights the importance of compassionate science communication, understanding, and breaking free from stereotypes that threaten our health.
During the years I have been working as a health coach I have seen many such families where the man’s preference for a meat-heavy diet influences what the entire household eats. Most, like Maria’s family, experience a positive transformation, with the man gradually opening his eyes to healthier alternatives. Sadly, for some families these discussions often reveal deep-rooted gender inequalities in the marriage, causing some couples to confront uncomfortable truths that go beyond diet. Even then, I see that women get empowered by this knowledge, finding the strength to claim not only a healthy diet but a healthy relationship, too.
Today, more than ever, we must recognize the hidden, patriarchal determinants of our health, acknowledging that the connection between meat and manhood endangers not only men but also women and children. Maria’s story is a testament that by challenging these norms with compassion and determination, we can break free from this patriarchal plate.
If you, too, find yourself in the battle against the patriarchy of family meals, I am here for you. Let me support you with my compassionate, culturally sensitive coaching, empowering you to take charge of your family’s health and well-being.
