In today’s world, where our diet shapes our health and well-being, there’s an often overlooked but deeply impactful issue we need to address – the influence of patriarchy on our food choices. Maria’s story is a perfect example of how gendered eating habits affect not just what we eat, but our overall lives and future.
Maria is a client of mine I met in 2019. A devoted mother and loving wife, who wanted to bring healthier food choices to her family. She didn’t realize that this journey would not only improve her family’s health but also confront the deep-seated patriarchal norms in her marriage.
Maria’s husband, Giannis, was the “manager” of their kitchen. Not because he was the one cooking, but because he demanded a diet heavy on meat. “I need my protein,” he’d say, a common refrain among many men who believe that meat equals masculinity (and that protein can be found only in meat). Giannis felt a meal was incomplete without a substantial portion of meat, leaving Maria and their two kids with little room for healthier alternatives. She either needed to cook two different meals every day, or settle with eating what Giannis wanted, an animal-based meal almost every single day.
This scenario is far from unique. It’s a patriarchal phenomenon I see way too often. Many women, like Maria, find themselves stuck not only in the patriarchal dogma that cooking is a female job but also in a dietary dilemma. Their partners, often influenced by societal norms equating meat with strength, resist healthier eating. These women have to choose between cooking two separate meals every day and settling for unhealthy meals that they would not choose. The result is a household divided, not just in terms of unpaid care labor, but also in terms of health. To make things worse, children are forced to follow the father’s diet, too, putting in danger not only their current health and development but also their future, as the dietary habits built in childhood are much more difficult to change in adult life. And I know that first hand, as I myself was a child raised in such a family, where my father determined that we ate a heavily animal-based diet. By the time I was old enough to understand that my childhood dietary habits were unhealthy, I already had developed many diet-related health issues, that took a lot of time and effort to be reversed.
This patriarchal dietary dictatorship is deeply rooted in societies with strong patriarchal family hierarchies; Greek being one of them. It’s a not-so-well-researched Social Determinant Of Health (SDOH) that deserves our attention. This phenomenon goes beyond just food; it affects the health, well-being, and autonomy of women and children.
We need to recognize that linking meat with masculinity is a result of toxic societal norms. In her book ‘The Sexual Politics of Meat,’ Carol J. Adams explains how eating meat is tied to gender roles. Men are taught to believe their strength and virility depend on eating meat. This belief not only harms men’s health but also puts pressure on women who want to choose healthier, plant-based options for themselves and their children.
Maria showed the strength and determination of women who recognize and confront the patriarchal influence on their diets. She chose to take charge of her family’s health and challenge these norms. With compassion for herself and her husband, and with my support providing scientific evidence and encouragement, she set out to transform their lifestyle. Maria started by having open discussions with Giannis about how their meals were influenced by patriarchy and the health benefits of adding more plant-based foods to their diet.
It wasn’t easy, but Maria’s persistence paid off. Giannis began to realize that his health and the health of their children were too important to be overshadowed by outdated notions of masculinity. He started joining our sessions and slowly, but surely, he started to embrace legumes and plant-based proteins as part of their diet, which covers all human protein needs without having the harmful effects of meat. Together, they discovered the delicious world of nutritious, meatless meals. The children, following their parents’ positive changes, and supported by the tools of family coaching, that uses their imagination and playfulness to help children adopt new recipes, joined the journey towards a more balanced diet.
Maria’s story is a reminder that change is possible, even in the face of deeply ingrained norms. Her journey highlights the importance of compassionate science communication, understanding, and breaking free from stereotypes that threaten our health.
During the years I have been working as a health coach I have seen many such families where the man’s preference for a meat-heavy diet influences what the entire household eats. Most, like Maria’s family, experience a positive transformation, with the man gradually opening his eyes to healthier alternatives. Sadly, for some families these discussions often reveal deep-rooted gender inequalities in the marriage, causing some couples to confront uncomfortable truths that go beyond diet. Even then, I see that women get empowered by this knowledge, finding the strength to claim not only a healthy diet but a healthy relationship, too.
Today, more than ever, we must recognize the hidden, patriarchal determinants of our health, acknowledging that the connection between meat and manhood endangers not only men but also women and children. Challenging these norms with compassion and determination, we can break free from this patriarchal plate.
If you, too, find yourself in the battle against the patriarchy of family meals, I am here for you.
